keen observation

the aftershocks continue for months after her last

delay, mild panic, desperation toward the

belonging that eluded us for centuries and seconds—

little sparks, embers surround me as i contemplate

who i was with her. the surging flames of her

synaesthetic aura—the abyss we fell into

together, finding home in the void & utopia—

the undulating waves of longing that were once

ours. i was never the type to mythologize her

until she left me no other choice, drawing

lines in the sand, arbitrary timelines

like the unspoken monarch of my desires—was never

the type to speculate over motivation, the unspoken—

until it consumed me. who would do that other than

the utterly fascinated—or a preteen with an orientation

toward gossip—it's time i learned the difference between

my middle school years and the present day—tomorrow—

and forever—negation comes alive when i attempt to text her

and fail—worried about looking dumb--and certain that

for once—i at least look alive.

Meet the Author:

Mk Zariel {it/its + masc terms} is a transmasculine neuroqueer poet, theater artist, movement journalist, and BashBack aligned anarchist. it is fueled by folk-punk, Emma Goldman, and existential dread. The author of VOIDGAZING (2026, Whittle Micropress), it can be found online at https://mkzariel.carrd.co/, creating conflictually queer-anarchic spaces, writing columns for Asymptote and the Anarchist Review of Books, and being mildly feral in the great lakes region. It is kinda gay ngl.

​

Acknowledgement: ​​

This poem was first published in WITCHES Magazine.